Pear-Shaped Dog
by Unlampliking
Summary: Danny comes up with a slightly unconventional way of telling Mindy how he feels. "To go pear shaped is an expression used to indicate that a scheme has not been perfectly executed."


**A/N: _Thanks _andthestarsthatshine_ for telling me to write this...definitely wouldn't have thought of this idea :3 I went with Danny's POV since the last one was mostly Mindy's, and made it slightly Christmas-ish._**

* * *

The border collie on the screen is much more well-behaved than any Danny has ever seen before. They can't go showing these unrealistic dogs and expecting people to really think one could walk down a wedding aisle without messing up and eating someone's clothing item. Mindy is being such a consumer. A consumer of society's...media. Or something.

She emits a small squeak and looks at him excitedly.

"Look at this! Are you seeing how perfect this is?" Her narrative-Mindy voice starts. Oh god. "A beautiful wedding, two people who finally realize they love each other. Their lives are forever changed."

He rolls his eyes. "Are you kidding me? These things do not happen."

"You ruin every good movie!" Mindy glares at him.

"I'm not _ruining_ it, okay. I'm just giving an opinion."

"I appreciate your opinion, Danny, but it's wrong and don't ever say it again."

They're sitting in the lounge, watching the ending of some cheesy, typical, romantic Christmas comedy way past when everyone else left. Danny would leave, but Mindy is here and, to be honest, he takes anything he can get. He knows it's kind of pathetic, but it's also worth it. Something about her is always more interesting-more exciting-to him than anyone else is. She is completely different from him. Also completely different from the other women he's dated.

Maybe that's why he's falling in love with her.

Danny sighs, wanting to change the subject of his thoughts.

He says, "Why do you always watch these things? Don't you have realistic expectations about anything?" He hopes she isn't expecting him to pull off as perfect a dog-related spectacle as this. A bunch of people are looking happily at the dog as it passes them, like they've never seen a dog before. Mindy's eyes leave the illogical romantic comedy to find his.

"Realistic is stupid, Danny. Realistic stops loving me and cheats on me and calls me dumb! Realistic breaks up with me without even a tearful speech weeks later about how much he misses me." She purses her lips and looks up in thought, then continues. "Unless he's drunk."

Danny is about to respond when Morgan suddenly opens the door.

"Oh my god!" Mindy says, wide-eyed. "Why are you still here?"

"I come here to get medical gauze sometimes," he says like it's obvious. He looks between the two, a smile forming. "What are you two crazy kids up too? Acting pretty suspicious."

Danny says, annoyed, "Well, yeah. When someone barges in unannounced while we thought no one else was here, we're a little surprised."

"Okay, my fault!" But the smile remains. He stands there for at least half a minute, not saying anything.

"Morgan!" says Mindy.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Hey! I have that kind of dog."

"That dog is still on there? Jesus...how long does it take to walk a ring to like forty feet away?"

But it's a different dog. Wait-okay, seriously?

"Now the _dog's_ getting married? Come on!"

"Awww," says Morgan, tilting his head and grinning. Danny suspects he's some kind of weird human version of a puppy sometimes.

"Are you really buying this?" says Danny, exasperated.

Mindy giggles in response, which made the corner of Danny's mouth turn up despite his disagreement.

Morgan sighs dreamily. "Wouldn't it be great if dogs could get married?"

"Okay. Cut it out. It's getting weird," says Danny.

Mindy looks at Morgan, grimacing, then said, "uh, no. _But_. A dog giving me something? That would be kind of cool, actually."

"Kind of cool? _Cool_?" Danny can't help but grin.

She turns to him. "Yes, Danny, cool. It would be cool if a guy cared enough to have a dog bring me something."

Morgan raises his eyebrows and nods in approval.

Danny mutters, "I'm sure you'll find someone, Min."

"Yeah, right." She crosses her arms, looking straight ahead. "I think I'm gonna go."

"You sure you'll be emotionally stable after that cinematic masterpiece?" jokes Danny.

She smiles, a little forced. "I'm good." She gets up and walks over to the door Morgan is still lingering near. Danny's eyes follow her, and she turns around to wave before leaving.

Danny's eyes now narrow in thought. He glances at Morgan, who also seems ready to leave.

"You really think she'd like that? The dog thing?"

"A dog marriage? Yeah!" Morgan replies enthusiastically. "I've had all the stuff for it for years."

Danny glowers and says, "No, Morgan. A dog...bringing her something. Or whatever."

"Oh! I think she would."

"And you...you have dogs, right?"

Morgan gave an 'oh, you' kind of smile.

"Do I have dogs? Do _I_ have _dogs_?"

"Yes, Morgan. That's what I asked."

"Danny, I got like ten of those!"

"Ten? You've gotta stop taking dogs." Upon seeing Morgan's smile, he adds, "I'm not kidding!"

"They're fine. They're in a good home."

Danny sighs heavily. "I don't want-I'm done talking about this. Forget it."

"Nonono, why do you want to know about my dogs?"

Danny thinks about the ridiculous movie one.

"Are any of those _ten_ dogs...trained?" He inwardly cringes due to what he's about to ask.

"What kind of establishment do you think I'm running! Of course they are-they all are."

He imagines Mindy's face when she sees it: a dog (hopefully not a bad looking one, he doesn't know what Morgan's are like) rushing toward her, carrying a note so Danny doesn't have to say it out loud but it still comes off as romantic. Is he being a child about this? No. Just creative.

Yeah, definitely that one.

That sells him.

* * *

Danny never wanted to go to Morgan's house, believe him. But he did anyway, to find the perfect-okay, this is sounding worse and worse. To be honest, Danny was inwardly embarrassed the entire time. Morgan's house? Finding a dog to give a message to the woman he used to hate? It was worse than it sounds. Christmas ornaments everywhere. Danny is pretty sure he saw shattered glass in at least a few places. You thought maybe Morgan's house was surprisingly orderly? Get that idea out of your head, because ten dogs under one roof does not equal organized.

They were all kinds of different breeds, and Morgan had definitely lied. They were not well trained. They were not trained at _all. _Besides one. And, of course, the only one that even understood 'sit' was a tiny Jack Russell Terrier named Leonard the Third. So now a small dog was going to be running toward Mindy and she'd probably step on it before even realizing it was there. Nope. He was not doing this. Why did he ever think it was a good idea?

Morgan being Morgan, though, managed to convince him. Maybe he's just good at psyching people up. Unfortunately, Morgan somehow acquired Danny's cell phone number and kept texting him, saying every half hour or so that Danny had to do it. No amount of explaining to Morgan that texting every thirty minutes isn't going to make Danny more willing to do it would change his mind.

* * *

Anyway, Now Danny is in his apartment, trying to think of what to write.

_When I first_ - don't even start.

**Morgan:** You're gonna do great!

**Danny:** Stop texting me.

_I used to think you_ - you really want to bring that up?

**Morgan:** I couldn't leave you alone like that! :-)

**Danny:** It would be okay, since I'm asking you to.

_I think I might be_ - really? You're gonna do all this for a 'might'?

**Morgan:** I know I'm your best friend. Don't shut me out Danny.

This was so easy when she was in Haiti. Now he can't think of anything. Then he realizes that he doesn't have to say much. He just has to say enough.

**Morgan:** Danny?

* * *

The whole building seems to be green and red. Danny realizes as he stands outside of it with Morgan's tiny dog that this could either ruin Mindy's Christmas eve or make it better. How much better? Danny wonders what her reaction will be. He's wondered that a lot...not that it's any of your business.

He waits for the elevator, desperately hoping Mindy won't be on the other side. The _ding_ noise signals that the doors are opening, and Jeremy is inside, now looking confused and a little accusatory.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"Don't look at me like that," Danny snaps. "It's Morgan's dog. I'm just...don't worry about it."

"Uh-huh," Jeremy says slowly. He clears his throat awkwardly, stepping out of the elevator and to the side of Danny. "Right, this wouldn't have anything to do with the, uh, dog and Mindy thing?"

"He _told_ you that?"

"He told everyone!" Jeremy replies, like it will make things better.

"Well then I'm not doing this." Danny turns to walk away, but Jeremy gets in front of him.

"Danny," he drawls. "You have to do this! Mostly because Morgan told me to say that but also because it's the right thing to do."

"It's not the 'right thing to do.' It's a-"

"Just do it. When are you ever going to if you don't _now_?"

"Do what? Send a dog to give her mail?"

"Tell her how you feel," Jeremy corrects.

Danny groans. "How do you know all this?"

"Well, that one I think everyone knows. Almost everyone."

And now the one person who doesn't is going to.

Danny curses his manipulative coworkers under his breath and goes into the elevator. Jeremy smiles proudly as the doors close. Danny scowls at the little dog before bending down to pet it.

He already hooked the letter to the dog's collar and has practiced a few times in the last week. He'll spare you the details. Anyway, how hard can it be?

There she is. His breath hitches slightly at the sight of her. She doesn't look any different than normal, but this might be the last time he'll see her without something else being different.

She smiles at him and says hi. Wait, what is he supposed to do? Does he just let the dog go here and everyone sees it? Or does he suspiciously lead her to a private location...this is not good. _Not good_. Why is he doing this. He nods to her and the elevator door begins closing. Mindy looks confused now.

Of course, Morgan can't just let him leave. He runs to the elevator and puts an arm between the closing doors. They sense his movement and open back up.

Danny gives him a look that could kill. Morgan just shrugs.

Danny's attention is back on Mindy. Before he can say anything, the small dog's leash slips out of Danny's hand. He scrambles after Leonard III, but the dog has probably been wanting to escape Morgan's house, then Danny, for a long time and makes a run for it now.

The dog is question was already on its way past a few offices, running in and out of places and maneuvering expertly between people's hands. The said people were divided between calling for the little dog saying how cute it is and yelling at it.

"Leonard!"

"Who is Leonard?" asks Mindy, an adorably-a normal looking bemused expression on her face.

"The dog. _Leonard_, come here!"

While chasing Leonard III, Morgan says, "That's not his name, Danny. He won't respond to that."

"You said his name was Leonard the Third!"

Hearing the full name spoken, Leonard III runs toward Danny. But not before the letter falls.

Danny's internal monologue begins yelling what a terrible idea this was and how he could've thought it would end any differently. He sadly watches Betsy pick up the small paper from the floor. Her eyes widen as she reads it while standing back up. She says the words on it slowly, seeming to question who it's for and who it's from. Perhaps Jeremy's definition of 'everyone' is limited.

"I just wanted you to know I care enough to...have a dog bring you something? And you were wrong. Reality isn't always like that." Betsy's eyebrows draw together. She says the ending as she looks up. "Sometimes people don't stop loving you."

Everyone in the room is now looking at the paper.

"Morgan, this is not funny," says Mindy, scowling at him.

"You think I would write that?" replies Morgan.

Maybe if Danny backs away really slowly, no one will notice him leaving.

"Then..." Mindy looks like a combination of scared and hopeful. "Who did?"

Danny looks at his shoes.

"You know who." Danny can hear the grin in Morgan's voice.

Everyone but the two of them look excited. They all know something big is happening. Well, yeah, something big is happening. A big disaster.

Jeremy glances between Danny and Mindy.

"Alright, it's Christmas Eve, people! We've got to get home," he says. He looks at Danny knowingly, shuffling everyone out. He's about to go like the rest of them, but glances back at Mindy, who is refusing to look at Danny. Which is fine with Danny. He refuses to look at her too. He'll probably never be able to look at her again after this.

At any rate, Jeremy says, "Happy Christmas," and seems as if he's about to say something else, then purses his lips and walks out.

The only sound is the song _White Christmas_ playing in the background.

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas..._

Leonard III was ushered away with Morgan, so not even the little dog is here for Danny's moral support.

_Just like the ones I used to know._  
_ Where the tree tops glisten..._

The only two people left in the room are avoiding eye contact and-

"Is that true?" she asks quietly.

Danny looks up at her slowly. "Yeah."

Mindy bites her lip, holding back a smile. She's happy?

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, Danny, I didn't know you were so _romantic_."

He laughs hollowly. "Me neither."

She walks over to the lounge. Seeing that Danny isn't following, she calls, "Come on, Danny!"

"What? Why?" He's not nervous. He's really not. Why would he be? The woman he just accidentally confessed to in front of everyone in this floor of the building is asking to go in a private location. With couches. That people sit on. Where he almost kissed her so long ago. Not nervous.

"Nah, I-it's Christmas Eve, and I got...I have to go do all that stuff."

She raises an eyebrow. "That's kind of funny, Danny, because you told me you're not doing anything today."

"When did I say that?"

"Last week."

"That was a whole week ago."

She sighs. He thinks for a moment that, finally, she's going to let it go. Obviously she doesn't.

Mindy walks to him and takes his hand. This somehow calms him down, and she pulls him to the lounge and makes him sit on the couch. She sits next to him, very close.

"Do you seriously mean it?"

"_Yes_, Min," he says quietly.

She grins. He can't stop his from showing up as well at the sight. She's beautiful...

She faces him completely, her whole body turning his way, so her legs overlap his a little. His heart keeps beating too fast. He hopes she doesn't hear it. She's leaning closer and closer, until...she laughs?

She's inches from his face, laughing uncontrollably. She rests her head on his chest and he can feel her body shaking with it.

"You okay there?"

"You...you attached that letter to Morgan's dog? And-" she was having trouble speaking through it. "The dog was named Leonard the Third?"

"All correct so far."

"You wanted me to know...someone cares enough to-to have a dog bring me something. Oh my god, Danny, and everyone heard it," she stops laughing but continues to smile.

"Don't remind me."

She nudges him. "It doesn't matter. They were gonna know anyway."

"Why?"

She doesn't answer. Or maybe she does. Maybe sometimes words aren't enough, so she didn't use those. She just tilts her head and moves impossibly close, then looks down at his lips and she tells him everything he's ever wanted to hear from her.

He remembers everything he used to think about her. How could he have ever hated her? He knows that Mindy isn't as skinny as other girls he's dated. He now thinks of her as full, but not meaning full-figured. Full of opinions and pointless facts and bad musical taste. Bursting with witty comebacks and ridiculous replies. She has always been herself, and a person so considerable on the inside shows him every day through her perfect smiles and every other thing about her that she never needed to lose 15 pounds. He used to think she was simple-minded. He used to think she should change.

She's so warm and soft and he's so grateful that he is finally kissing her as she keeps moving closer to him. _It's always going to annoy him that she tells him to stop smoking_. His hand rests on her side, and now another on her leg as he feels her smiling. _But he's always going to be glad she does._

He moves his hand to hold hers now. _He wouldn't change anything about her_. She wraps her fingers around his hand tightly and he does the same. She pulls away and smirks.

"I never would have thought it was you."

"What do you mean?" he asks in an embarrassingly love-stricken sweet voice.

"You know. The guy who listens to boring music and has weird sex and-"

"Okay, okay."

_Maybe he'd change that._

He brushes a stray lock of hear gently behind her ear and kisses her again.

_ But probably not._


End file.
